Nonfiction Book Recommendations #5

This blog post will summarize the main points of a life-changing self-development nonfiction book I would recommend to anyone on a transformational journey.

Book Recommendation #5 (Summary of Main Points):

The Tao of Daily Life by Derek Lin

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Introduction

There are 34 Tao stories told in 34 chapters with the author providing commentary and questions based on the theme related to these different stories.

The Tao is Chinese for “the path” or “the way.”

Part I – In the Morning

Ch. 1 - What is this thing called Tao?

Confucius once said, “Fish forget they live In water; people forget they live in the Tao.”

· Whatever the ultimate principle is that underlies reality, we call it the Tao.

· Whatever the one truth is at the center of all spiritual truths, that is the Tao.

· Whatever the universal source of consciousness is, we will give it the name Tao.

· Whatever the force is that is ultimately responsible for moving everything in the universe—from galaxies to human beings to subatomic particles—that force is what we call the Tao.

My comments: The Tao is the path of least resistance requiring the least amount of life force energy. It is a continually changing balance between yin and yang energies for any particular activity.

The only way we can approach the Tao is to relax the death grip of logic, and engage the far more powerful tool of intuition. Feeling is the key.

How will I move forward in my life journey today?

How will I will remain in tune with the Tao today?

Ch. 2 – Being Mindful in the Present

Don’t let unrealized dangers (illusions) paralyze you. Don’t beat yourself up for not being able to do certain things as well as you should; don’t wall in regret and shame over mistakes we have made; don’t hold onto negative experiences from the past; don’t be a victim of neglect, abuse, and trauma; don’t get caught up in the impossibility of going back in time to fix something.

Don’t be excessively concerned about that which is yet to come, about things that could happen or go wrong. Also, realize that there a finite number of days and nights and death will ultimately show up at the door.

The present is all we ever have and it contains bliss, beauty, energy, and vitality. No one can take it away from you, and you get to decide what you do with it. Learn to let go and lessen your attachment to material things. Seize the moment by being mindful of the present.

There are obstacles that get in the way of mindfulness:

· Lack of awareness of what is available only in the now and how caught up you are in past and future thought-traps. How do I live in the moment?

· By not having strong attachments to material concerns and preferences; by reaching out—exploring beyond the familiar comfort zone.

What are my attachments? What are some things I cannot let go? What attachments am I willing to release, in order to live life to the fullest?

Am I learning anything new? Meeting new people? Doing anything I haven’t done before? What might be some fun subjects that I can study? What might be some interesting projects I can tackle?

Ch. 3 – Finding Joy in the Simple Things

We live in a world of elaborate complexities—numerous materialistic attractions, distractions, and temptations offered to us every day. These numerous materialistic objects are not negative or positive in themselves; however, they can become quickly negative, though, if we pursue them blindly and neglect the important basics of life. As we partake in these intricately prepared delights, our senses become increasingly numb. Our appetites become jaded, and we wonder: Where is that old zest for life?

When that happens, we stray from the path of moderation and move against the flow of Tao. This seems to happen quite a bit in this day and age, perhaps because the modern world bombards us with so many sensory stimuli. It becomes easy for us to forget the joys of simplicity. For example, think of the multitude of different beverages available to our taste buds, yet, when we are really thirsty nothing beats or compares to plain old water to quench our thirst. Simple, pleasurable, everyday walking is becoming a lost art to the myriad ways we now travel and get around. Euphoric medical researchers have taken to calling walking “the miracle cure.”

We have so many options, it is mind-boggling. As a result, people seem to overdose on entertainment. I know a fellow who used to spend his entire weekend in the movie cinema at a local mall. He would get in one the early show and then sneak from one theater to the next, eventually seeing all the movies for the price of one. He did this because he was lonesome and miserable. Not all of us have done the above, but many of us have done something similar. Think of the last time you vegetated on the couch, flipping from one channel to the next, feeling profoundly bored and yet unable to break away. The movie industry ramps up the violence and gore, just to give us a stronger dose of excitement and stimulation.

Again, all this happens because we tend to disconnect ourselves from simplicity. We forget about all the wonder and beauty of the basic things in life. We forget about the spectacular sunset, the glorious full moon, the angelic smile of an infant, or the glimmer of a soul when you look deeply into your lover’s eyes. We forget about golden, blessed silence.

Ch. 4 – Taking responsibility for your destiny

One of the significant insights in the Tao is that many of the problems we encounter in life come from the mind within, rather than the external world. To solve such problems, we need to stop blaming outside forces that we have no control over, and instead take a long hard look at ourselves.

Are our problems really things we cannot control? Or do they merely seem that way? What did we do or fail to do to allow these problems into our lives? Do we already have the power to solve them? Do we already hold the key without realizing it?

Ch. 5 – Taking Flight on Your Greatest Spiritual Journey

Your soul in its initial, untapped state has tremendous potential where you reside in a cold and dismal place, and you cannot see much in its murky depths. You are literally in the dark, swimming blindly. You are limited, and, in a sense, trapped. Then one day it happens. There is a breakthrough. The soul has attained critical mass, triggering a spiritual chain reaction. The nature of the soul changes, as do the rules that apply to it. An irrevocable understanding has dawned upon you, and you know things will never be the same again. This massive metamorphosis happens for a reason, and that is to prepare you for a great journey. You will be flying towards a great place of light and warmth. This journey represents your sacred task in life.

The journey represents your sacred task in life. It may be a quest for a higher level of spiritual development; it may be a personal mission to give of your love to the utmost; it may be a call to reach out to others and connect with them across vast interpersonal chasms. Whatever it is, your journey toward the heavenly ocean requires you to commit to something other than yourself and greater than yourself.

Then the opportunity comes. Your soul is transcending its previous limits and boundaries. You experience a sense of freedom and a burst of energy. You have broken out of your constraints; you have stepped outside the box. When you take flight on your personal journey, one of the things that changes irrevocably is your perspective. Your sacred task confers upon you an expanded view of life. You see further and your thinking tends to be long term.

There are those who simply cannot understand your goals or your motivations. As you continue your journey, you will encounter many like them. They are still mired in the material world. Their concerns are small and immediate and have more to do with struggling through another day so they can go home and assume the couch potato position.

The perspectives of others are limited. They give little thought to greater spiritual issues and, should the subject ever come up, respond with a programmed script of platitudes. Until they can see what you see, expect puzzlement, perhaps even ridicule.

Where are you in the great journey? Are you ready for your transformation?

Ch. 6 – Listening to the Universal Symphony of the Tao

The entire universe is a musical instrument too. At this scale, we see that there is an omnipresent force that moves through everything in existence, including all living things and every human being. It is a cosmic wind representing the living, dynamic power of creation and evolution. This is the activating force behind it all, and as it moves through all of us and everything around us, it creates beautiful music, a virtuoso symphony of awesome scope.

The music of heaven is not sound as we understand it. In it we can find rhythm, melody, harmony, and other aspects typical of music, but it cannot be heard. This music finds expression in the beauty of nature, the birth and death of stars and galaxies, and the simple dignity of human ideals. We are musicians as well as instruments.

Part Two – At Work

Real Tao cultivators think of work as a great opportunity to cultivate. There are countless lessons to be learned in a typical working day.

The Tao is the perfect tool when we encounter the following:

· Adversities and Setbacks

· The rollercoaster ride of a volatile market

· The critical boss, co-worker, or customer

Tao cultivation also gives us essential skills to help up succeed. These skills include the following:

· Channeling resentment into something more constructive

· Taking solid steps, one after another, toward our goal

· Forgiving those who, intentionally or unintentionally, have caused us damage

· Being objective, impartial, and able to see another point of view

· Listening to others with the Chi—spiritual energy—to achieve a higher level of understanding

Ch. 7 – What Can We Do When Bad Things Happen to Us?

We all have days when we feel as if we are trapped. We can’t get out, and there seems to be a never-ending stream of “difficult things” raining down on us. When we encounter adversity, our first impulse may be to complain. We ask ourselves questions like “Why does stuff like this always happen to me?” or “What have I done to deserve this?” Expressing grievances, outrage, and feelings sorry for ourselves doesn’t change anything.

One way to break out of this pattern is to realize that we ourselves had a hand in authoring our fate—the good as well as the bad. What have I done to cause this? Once we break out of the complaining mode, we must then come to the realization that there is something valuable in everything—even things we deem as “bad.” No matter what happens, there is always something we can learn from it. We recognize and acknowledge the event—with the crucial distinction that we do not see it as a personal affront.

Has someone leveled a harsh criticism against us? That criticism may or may not contain a kernel of truth. If so, it shows us how we can improve. If not, it is a baseless attack that becomes a way for us to practice detachment from opinions that are not constructive. They may be projecting their own disowned traits onto us.

Has someone gotten in the way and blocked our path? It’s an opportunity for us to reinforce our determination, strengthen our resolve, and increase our flexibility as we figure out a way around the obstacle.

Has someone abandoned us or gone back on a promise? This is something we can use as a lesson that teaches us to become more independent and self-sufficient. Ultimately, we can only rely on ourselves.

Has someone spread vicious and untrue rumors about us? If so, it’s a reminder that we can live in such a way so that no one would ever believe them. It’s also something that reveals the true nature of the people around us—a convenient way to find out who our real friends are.

Ch. 8 – Gracefully Dealing with the Ups and Downs of Life

Sai Ong loses horse. Who knows if it isn’t a blessing? The phrase is especially applicable when you encounter a situation that seems completely against you. When you feel frustrated, discouraged, or hopeless, this phrase reminds you that things may not be as they first appear.

The sages teach that everything happens for a reason. Temporary defeats and disappointments all contain the golden kernel of a lesson custom-made for you. And when you look at it this way, who says that the negative stuff cannot be some sort of good news in disguise?

The Tao is all about balance, so the other side of the teaching is just as valid and valuable. We can see how we need not dwell on depression and discouragement to the point where they rob us of the ability to act. The flip side of the coin is just as true. That is, when we encounter something that appears to be an advantage, we need not let ourselves get carried away with ecstatic excitement so that we become blind to the seed of adversity hiding inside the advancement.

Yin contains yang; yang contains yin. Every failure harbors the hidden seed of future success; every triumph contains the covert cause of future defeat. With moderation, life gets closer to the graceful and effortless wu wei ideal, the ideal of actions without attachments. You still experience joy and sorrow, but not the debilitating intensities of extreme emotions. You partake fully in both celebration and grieving, but never overdo either one to excess.

This does not mean we become wooden or devoid of strong emotions. Nor does it mean that life becomes diluted in some way. The lesson does not teach bland acceptance of whatever life offers, nor is it an excuse to avoid taking action. What it does mean is that we no longer cling to emotions.

Ultimately, this story teaches us that things simply happen in life. They are not good or bad—they just are. They all serve the greater purpose of providing life lessons.

Ch. 9 – What is the Best Way to Handle Negative People?

Criticizing others while being unaware of their own faults is something that many people do. When people lash out at us with venomous criticism, we should not accept it passively. We should certainly protect ourselves by putting some distance between us and them if at all possible; protect ourselves in other ways if not. The critical point is that we can do so without feeling offended or insulted, because these people are simply being themselves. It is their nature to be critical and judgmental, so it would be absurd for us to take offense.

Ch. 10 – Directing Energy into Building Internal Strength

Those who presume, or think they are always right, will not be considered respectable or admirable by others; those who incessantly praise themselves do not possess true merit. The truth is many of us feel contempt for our bosses or managers, and many of us contemplate quitting from time-to-time. In our conflict-oriented culture, we have a tendency to counter force with force (yelling with yelling, shouting with shouting, disrespecting with disrespecting). This method is the “hard” path in life because it requires pumping the Self up by diminishing others.

The Tao approach isn’t about confrontation or clashing. Instead, it is about redirecting and channeling. It is the “soft” path because it focuses on internal strength. Its goal is to improve oneself so that everyone can win. The young man said his boss changed and everything was different. In reality, it was he who changed, and that alone made all the difference in the world. Even if a boss is horrible and no matter what you learn about the business and apply never seems to matter to him, his competitors may see quite differently if and when you decide to leave.

Ch. 11 – Achieving Real and Lasting Results

Isn’t it easy to understand that we must start at the bottom and work our way up? How can anyone expect the 3rd floor without the floors underneath it including the foundation? It is easy for us to understand that in order to achieve something, we must build the framework and create the necessary conditions.. We still want something for nothing, even though we know that if it sounds too good to be true, it probably is. We still want shortcuts.

Is it not difficult to traverse the great Tao—it is a wide and flat road, perfect for travelers. We walk this road one step at a time. It is the essence of simplicity. What can possibly be simpler? But simplicity doesn’t seem to be what most people want. Rather than taking the certain path slowly but surely, people are enticed by the bright, colorful, flashing signs by the side of the road.

We all know the saying that the great thousand-mile journey starts with one step. The first step by another step, and then another, and then another, until the great journey is completed. The key realization is that diligent or disciplined work doesn’t have to be tedious. When you make it a part of your life pattern, disciplined efforts become natural. This method emphasizes consistent action.

Ch. 12 – How Do We Forgive Those Who Have Offended Us?

The conventional way of forgiving is striving to forgive. It is about constant, diligent practice, and the practice never stops as there are people constantly saying or doing things to us that requiring efforting to forgive. However, what if we address egoism to rid ourselves of the need to forgive others? Egoism—an exaggerated sense of conceit and vanity—is a construction of the mind based on the false perception that we are separate from life and different from others. This separation and difference leads us to skewed comparison, which in turn lead us to a false conviction of superiority. When the elaborate illusion is under attack, the illusory injuries seem quite real. When the illusion fades away, there is nothing left to forgive. Forgiveness becomes an obsolete and unnecessary action.

Ch. 13 – Seeing Both Sides of an Issue

We struggle against other people, trying to get ahead or gain an advantage, but for what? When we are exhausted and stressed out by all the contention, conflict, and competition, will we also find that the objective we strive for is completely meaningless?

Do we sometimes only see one side of an issue or we don’t have all of the details or information regarding an issue? Discord rears its ugly head when both sides of a dispute are totally convinced of their own righteousness. Each side stubbornly clings to its own perspective while refusing to—or perhaps being unable to—see the other side. What would happen if we could see more than just our side? By being able to perceive how others look at the same thing, we can understand how the conflict began in the first place. (Nonviolent communications can be used to see what needs are being met or not being met by each party regarding the issue to help negotiate a possible resolution).

This better understanding leads to a better solution—most likely one that does not require contention or violence! That is why Tao cultivators always seek more than one perspective. They know that when they can view something from many different angles (different needs/different information), they gain greater understanding and wisdom.

Ch. 14 – Facing the Changes in Life and Mastering Them

Lao Tzu is emphasizing the adaptable nature of life and the importance of being flexible as the way to live, to thrive, and to succeed. The consequence of inflexibility is nothing less than death itself. The message is clear: the world never stops changing, and the only way to deal with change is to maintain flexibility. If we refuse to be flexible, we are in effect opting out of the game of life. The world moves on without us.

In this day and age, rapid changes overtake us and companies scramble to keep up. What Lao Tzu points out for individuals is just as valid for organizations: remain flexible and stay in business, or refuse to yield and become extinct.

When we settle into a comfortable (or at least tolerable) situation, inertia sets in and it is very much human nature to become complacent. We slow down, stop learning and growing, and start losing whatever flexibility and dynamism we had before. Is it possible for you to stagnate mentally, emotionally, financially, or spiritually, and not be aware that you are stuck in a rut or spinning your wheels?

Ch. 15 – How to Understand What Is Really Going On

Approaches, both direct and indirect, are based on a host of preconceptions and assumptions. They are the product of logic and reasoning, and come replete with moves, countermoves, scenarios, and contingencies. Emptying the mind before approaching a person or situation allows intuition and heart to help dictate more effective action than is possible with only logic and reason.

When you listen with Chi, you begin to see through the hidden agendas, misdirections, and half-truths. This lets you glimpse the true reality and capture insights that would normally elude the ears and the mind.

For many issues in life, the usual thought-out, reasoned-out plans are quite adequate. When we are facing a challenge, however such plans have an annoying tendency to suddenly become useless when events take an unforeseen turn. Listening with Chi and following one’s intuition will produce nearly miraculous results because most of us would love to have someone really listen to us (and understand our needs that are driving our desires, wants, and plans).

Part Three – With Friends

Our friends reflect who we are inside. Do they inspire us? Are they worthy of admiration?

In cultivating this aspect of life, there are some important things we must do:

· Focus on character—the inner attributes of our friends.

· Let go of the obsessive need to compare against one another.

· Become involved in the community.

· Get to know what is inside someone’s heart.

· Initiate the karmic cycle of giving and receiving abundantly.

· Understand the power of flattery and be able to recognize it.

· Manage the ego.

Ch. 16 – Looking Deeper than the Superficial

We have a tendency to judge others based on external appearance (superficiality). Just as the doorman failed to recognize the sage, we often fail to recognize the real individuals around us in everyday life. The sage did not rail against this or complain about it. He knew this was how most people operated. If he were to struggle against human nature and try to change others, it would simply be an exercise in futility.

The sage was quite willing to dress appropriately for the given setting. As a general rule, Tao cultivators do not flaunt their unconventional outlook on life, and therefore do not dress to shock, stand out, or attract attention. They have no need to prove how “cool” they are by rebelling against conventions. Being presentable demonstrates respect to people with whom we interact. It is a courtesy we extend to others.

It isn’t just celebrities and physical beauty either. Consider all the different ways people judge one another. We look at titles, degrees, possessions, relative wealth, and social standing—all external attributes that little to do with the true self.

Ch. 17 – Why Do We Keep Comparing Ourselves to Others?

Many people, mired in the illusion known as the material world, mistakenly assume they belong only to themselves. They compare themselves to others, and if they perceive some sort of lack or inequity, they become miserable.

They would feel quite differently if they could see, as clearly as the sages can, the fundamental oneness in which we are all inextricably integrated. We are all connected to one another in a way beyond the perception of the physical senses or the explanation of science. We are, in short, part of a greater whole.

Ch. 18 – Living Life as the Party It Was Meant to Be

The old man and the gong symbolize the inevitability of life leading to death. We may not know when he’ll show up, but we do know he’ll arrive sooner or later. It is a fate that none of us can escape.

We react to this in different ways. Some of us, like the older brother, bow to the inevitability of it all. It depresses us. It robs us of energy. We may not get physically sick over it, bet we can be afflicted by a spiritual illness. This illness manifests itself as boredom and inertia.

Another way to react to it is more like the younger brother. He recognized the same inevitability of the same fate, but he decided to do something about it. Rather than admit defeat, the very fact that life was limited inspired him to live it fully. Notice that only thought separated the two. This demonstrates the possibility that an instant of clarity, a single moment of sudden realization, can be all it takes to change one’s life forever. This is the nature of enlightenment—seemingly so distant that it will always be beyond reach…but at the same time only a heartbeat away.

The actions of the younger brother—divesting his wealth, giving to others, contributing to the common good—are symbolic of Tao cultivation. When we cultivate the Tao, we give unconditionally, we simply our lives, and we focus on other people instead of ourselves.

The more we do for others, the more blissful contentment we experience; the more we give to others, the more joyous satisfaction we receive. When negativity shows up at your doorstep, it will have no power over you. The positive energy you have generated blocks it.

Ch. 19 – Unlocking the Treasure Vault of Love and Friendship

We all encounter obstacles in life. They keep us from the things we want and frustrate us. When we come up against such obstacles, it can be very easy for us to be like the crowbar, wanting to use the brute force approach to break apart or smash through the things that stand in the way.

All too often we find the crowbar approach doesn’t work. Sometimes force meets more resistance. Eventually, like the crowbar, you have to stop because you are exhausted.

Tao sages approach such life obstacles in a very different way. From their observation of nature, they realize that the truly strong does not have the appearance of strength, and in the long run, it is always “soft” that triumphs over “hard.”

In general, when we try to force an issue or force agreement, what little gains we achieve are never proportional to the work we put into it. The effort and struggles do not translate into progress. Instead, they go into increasing tension, destroying harmony, and damaging relationships.

When faced with a problem, what we need to do is not to attack it from the outside, but to understand it from within. Armed with complete understanding, it will require very little effort for you to achieve your objective. Instead of the crowbar, use the key of kindness and caring, and the key will unlock the heart’s great potential for love, friendship, and support.

Ch. 20 – The Karmic Laws of Giving and Receiving

· Although the Tao is the source of everything, it is not possessive of anything.

· Although the Tao process is actively engaged in the workings of the universe, it does not flaunt the wondrous result it achieves.

· Although the Tao nurtures all living things through the miracle of life, it makes no attempt to rule over them or dominate them.

The Tao gives of itself without any expectations. What will happen if we emulate the Tao by giving of ourselves to others without any expectations? This chapter suggests that we will be amply rewarded even though we expect nothing. Thus, we must give before we receive abundantly.

If we emulate the Tao and create positive energy—give of ourselves—without expectations, the universe will reciprocate in kind on a massive scale. This remains true even when we cannot see the connection between the original giving and the subsequent reciprocation.

In general, whatever goodness you want from life, give it to others first.

Ch. 21 – The Role That Flattery Plays

Strive to not be presumptuous, flaunting, praising, or boasting of oneself—to not be a show-off. The ego’s need to elevate itself takes many subtle forms. It is easy for Tao practitioners to see themselves as head and shoulders above people who are ignorant of the Tao. Our inflated self-image is based on insecurities rather than true capabilities.

Ch. 22 – How Friends Help One Another with Ego

One of the most difficult lessons to master is transcending the ego. The ego manifests itself as a powerful urge to be right. It is a negative force because it does not compel us to seek deeper truths or further clarifications. Instead, it takes the shortcut of twisting our thoughts until we become convinced of our own correctness.

Armed with this conviction, we launch into a manic drive to prove a point, to win at any cost. Sometimes our position matches objective reality; other times it does not. And even if we are ultimately proven correct, the victory will feel empty and hollow, because it is obtained at the expense of harmony and compassion. Being able to see a path is not the same as walking it. The ego is all about “looking good” to others.

Some measure of ego will always be present as long as human interactions persist, no matter how saintly the participants of such interactions may be. Perhaps this is the key. Can it be that we give ourselves an impossible task if we think we have to get rid of the ego somehow? What would happen if we focus our goal on freedom instead of elimination?

Ego enslaves us by making us too dependent on what other people think. If we were to give in to the ego’s craving for attention, we would quickly find that it can never be satisfied. Once the ego grows out of balance, it can easily become a bottomless hole, forever wanting more.

Thus, by freedom from ego, we do not mean extinction of the ego in the Buddhist sense, nor ar we talking about suppressing it or denying its existence. Suppression and denial are among the least effective ways of dealing with the ego. To be free from the ego simply means breaking away from its grip so we are not enslaved by its domination.

This means letting go of the need to defend. We relinquish the desire to convince or persuade others. We can hold on to our views without having to make any points, prove anything, or justify any positions. We begin to see that being defensive is a tremendous waste of energy that achieves nothing useful.

PART FOUR – With Family

The relationships we create and maintain within the family have a direct impact outside of it.

How do we create, improve, and maintain harmony in the family?

Tao cultivators use the following as general guidelines:

· Are there arguments in the family? If so, remember that everyone has his or her own perspective

· Is a family member being particularly difficult? If so, remember that he or she is a valuable resource, and there is always a way to learn from a resource.

· Is someone in the family accumulating possessions but not taking the time to enjoy them? If so, it’s time to stop and think about what is more important in life.

· How do you regard the people in your family? Are you able to see them as being Buddhas?

· Is there too much clutter at home, disrupting the harmony of the family? If so, what are your attachments that lead to this clutter?

Ch. 23 – Maintaining a Harmonious Atmosphere

Wanting to be right is one of our major obsessions in life. You can have the most rigorous reasoning and the most solid supporting evidence imaginable and still fail to convince the other party, because arguments aren’t really about the truth. They are about the very human need to be right—regardless of facts. This is why sages refrain from arguments. Arguing requires much effort but delivers poor results. The more you force a different view on people, the more they resist. Sages can see the futility of imposing their opinions on an unwilling audience. Since it’s a waste of energy, they direct their attention away from it to being perceptive to perspectives other than their own.

Because they are detached and observant, sages have the ability to move freely among multiple points of view. Most people can only see the truth only from their side. To the sages, such a limited perspective is like having blinders on. The sages’ expanded perception allows them to see how two sides can both be right. People have different values and needs and priorities, so their “truths” are valid in their world. There are many valid perspectives. The conventional concept of absolute right and wrong is illusory. This black-and-white thinking leads to inflexibility, closed-mindedness, dogma, and even fanaticism.

Ch. 24 – How to See Others as Valuable and Lovable Resources

When you point a finger at someone else, three fingers point back at yourself. Projections have more to do with you than with the other person, group, or organization. The crucial insight here is that the fault that you find so repulsive in someone else most likely exists in you as well. The more you dislike it in yourself, the more violently you react to someone else who exhibits the same attribute. People with less personal development serve as resources to people who are more advanced in that they can be observed and serve as an example of how not to make the same mistakes ourselves.

Make a list of the people you dislike. Next to each person, write down the characteristics of that person that really bugs you. You may find, much to your chagrin, that every fault you have written exists in some fashion, at some point in time, within yourself. These people are our greatest spiritual teachers and are great resources.

What happens when you truly see no faults within yourself (even if others see them), when you fully accept yourself and your human faults and human experience just as it is? You then extend all your fingers towards other people in a handshake or a helping hand as you gesture is no longer an accusation or indictment.

Ch. 25 – How Material Things Can Get in the Way of Joy

One of the most typical misconceptions in life revolves around possession and enjoyment as they relate to happiness. We usually possess in order to enjoy (cd player to enjoy music). In reality, the two are independent of each other. Only one of them is linked to happiness, and it is not possession. Not only is possession unnecessary in order to enjoy, it can even get in the way. But many people do not look at it that way. They link possession rather than enjoyment to happiness—the exact opposite of reality.

For instance, I know a lady who associates the acquisition of jewelry with happiness. She loves rings, necklaces, and bracelets. She has a large collection, but she never wears any of it, because she fears possible theft or loss. The collection is much too precious to be exposed to risk!

The only time she is happy is shortly before and after a new acquisition. Buy jewelry gives her a fleeting moment of thrill, and then the hunger to acquire more returns, mercilessly driving her toward the next purchase.

You may know someone like her. Perhaps you know a car buff who has a vintage vehicle in his garage. He has spared no effort in fixing and tuning its components: he never tires of buffing and shining it—but he hardly ever drives it. Perhaps you know someone who has a vast collection of music, but has listened to only a small fraction of it. Why? Because he’s too busy looking for new CDs to complete his collection.

The same example applies to furniture (covered with plastic), vast book collections, etc. If we break this “habitual” pattern, we can be doing ourselves a tremendous favor. The energy and time we wasted before can now be freed up. By directing them toward using and appreciating what we have, we improve the quality of life and seize the key to happiness.

Ch. 26 – Have We Been Taking Loved Ones for Granted?

A wholesome thought from within the mind, a simple delight in a simple thing . . . these things are the essence of the Tao. Something uncomplicated yet profound, like the joy that radiates from a mother’s heart to her child, requires no great understanding of sutras or great knowledge of Tao-lore. And yet, because such a thing taps into the Tao at such a basic level, it cannot help but be filled with an elemental power.

Look at your loved ones . . . really look at them. Look deeply into their eyes. There, too, you will find the essence of the Buddha, and of the Tao.

Ch. 27 – Dealing with Attachments to Worldly Objects

Material objects have a life span too, just like living beings. If we can recognize our own mortality, then surely we can also see the impermanence of our various acquisitions. They can leave us at any time, no matter how much we value them and try to hold on to them.

Most of us are quite attached to our material possessions, and will continue to cling to them. We all get upset when things belonging to us are lost, damaged, or stolen. Protecting them from harm and hiding them from theft seem to give us a measure of peace—at least temporarily. Many of us are pack rats. We accumulate boxes of stuff that we haven’t looked at or used in years. And yet we refuse to dispose of them.

This connection between material possessions and the weighty issue of life and death is a new angle. It makes us realize that however difficult we find letting things go, if we were to suddenly pass on for any reason, we would have no choice but to let everything go all at once. No choice at all.

Nor is death the only thing that can separate us from our cherished belongings. Any disaster, major or minor, can do the job. Why wait? Why do we not start letting go now? When we understand this, the clutter will begin to vanish. When clutter is present—the mind needs to tune them out.

When we accumulate, we are in hot pursuit of knowledge. The acquisition of more and more material things ends up as clutter, which in turn leads to stress and agitation. On the path of the Tao, we let go of more and more every day. The more we discard, the better we can utilize what’s left. The more we simplify, the easier it is to attain serenity and peace of mind.

PART FIVE – At Night

Nighttime is the perfect time for reflection. One type of reflection is to look back at the day. How did it go? Were you able to apply Tao principles to achieve that combination of effortlessness and effectiveness?

Another type of reflection goes much deeper. It is concerned not with looking back but looking inward.

What is the meaning of life? What is our purpose, and where exactly are we going?

When dealing with such issues, it can be helpful to ask questions like the following:

· What is our true nature?

· Where do we come from? Where does everything come from?

· Why should we cultivate the Tao? What is its value?

· What lies at the center of the universal cycles of creation and destruction?

· What should be our attitude toward death?

· How should we regard the afterlife?

Ch. 28 – What is the Truth Essence of our Being?

Sometimes we identify with the body so much that we become attached to it and think of it as the self. Your true self remains the essential “you” no matter how your body changes. We can feel alone and isolated as we move through life, working on our individual lesson plans. This feeling, reinforced by physical perceptions, can make us forget that we are all part of a greater self. The physical body cannot last indefinitely. Accidents, injuries, illness, or age will eventually render it unusable. When the physical body is no longer a suitable vessel, the true Self it contains must return to the source. You and I are never truly isolated or separated from the divine source of universal creation. We are never truly alone.

Ch. 29 – How Can We Say That Everything Comes from Nothing?

We start with the concept that something small can contain something big. Hold a generic seed of a generic plant in your hand---let us say a tree of some sort. If planted, the seed can grow into a tree. Therefore, it is true that there is a full-size tree hiding inside the seed. That’s not all, though. The tree that this seed can grow into will produce more seeds, and each seed will contain a full-size tree inside itself. Therefore this seed contains more than just one tree. It also contains all the offspring trees that the tree will produce in the next generation.

Next, we realize that there is no need to stop at one generation in our thought experiment. The trees can reproduce generation after generation, multiplying their numbers with the passage of time. Soon, there are so many trees that they can cover an entire mountain. This is a great number of trees, yet they are all hiding inside the seed in the palm of your hand.

There is no need to stop at one mountain either. The trees can continue to cover an entire geographical region, stopping only when they encounter a body of water. Even water is no obstacle, if an animal were to carry a seed across a river, or if a human traveler decided to take some seeds to another continent.

Nor is one planet the final limit. In the distant future, when mankind terraforms other planets, the trees will bridge space to take root in alien soils and bask under the rays of other suns.

We look at the other direction of time. What is the past of this seed? How did it come into being? From its parent tree, of course. And this parent tree used to be a seed too. Where was the seed at the time of the beginning of the planet? Obviously, it did not exist as a physical object in the distant past. If it could be said to exist at all, it would be as pure potential. This potential expressed itself when the time was right, and manifested physical reality as the seed in your hand.

This nothingness of pure potentiality is not an empty vacuum, nor is it the nonexistence of oblivion. There seems to be nothing within its emptiness, but in reality it is seething with infinite possibilities, all waiting to express themselves by taking form in the material world. Everything comes out of nothing.

Prior to the beginning of your physical manifestation, you also existed as pure potentiality, just like the seed in our thought experiment. In that state, you existed as a part of, or in oneness with, the infinitely creative emptiness that is the Tao.

This is how we can say that you come from the Tao, and that the Tao is within you. The connection between humans and the Tao lies at the most fundamental level of reality. This explains why innovation and adaptability are such basic attributes of human nature. The infinite creativity of the Tao is mirrored within you as human creativity. Just as the power of the Tao gives rise to myriad things, you were born with the potential to reproduce and multiply, and also to invent and build.

Ch. 30 – What is the True Value of the Tao?

The Tao often appears to be something plain and simple, but when a true master expresses or explains a spiritual truth, the Tao reveals its brilliant beauty. People who possess a high level of spiritual refinement recognize a spiritual truth when they hear it because it resonates deeply with them. There is also people who are at the mid-level of Tao refinement who are in-and-out of realizing and acting accordingly from Tao principles. And, then there are people at lower levels of spiritual refinement who laugh or ridicule Tao as weird or stupid or a waste of time as they do not understand or recognize the spiritual truths that lie hidden underneath basic Tao principles.

From this, we can see that action is the critical element that separates a true Tao master from one who merely possesses book knowledge. True sages are not content to read about the Tao; they cultivate it through direct, hands-on experience. The true Tao master studies, contemplates, dissects, and showcases spiritual truths so people at lower levels can easily understand the Tao. The Tao is beyond price. The Tao is priceless. That is the true value of the Tao!

Ch. 31 – How Can These Be Two Sides of the Same Coin?

Create and destroy seem to be opposites, but they connect as one. For instance, let’s consider making furniture. We have to cut down (break apart) trees in order to get timber. And what does a sculptor have to do in order to create a beautiful statue? He or she must apply chisel to rock and hammer away. In both examples, destruction takes place during the process of creation. You cannot have one without the other. Death and life are but two sides of the same coin. You cannot have one without the other.

Tao sages see the truth—that life and death are natural processes that occur at the appropriate time for the appropriate reasons. Just like creation and destruction, they connect as one and flow naturally. This is what we would call the Tao!

Ch. 32 – The Way We Look at Death

We do everything we can to ward off death in our many attempts to extend life, remain healthy, and hold on to youthful vigor for as long as possible. Perhaps after death we will realize that the afterlife isn’t so bad after all. We simply do not know what happens after death. And since we have no information, why assume anything? Wouldn’t it make far more sense to let go of worry and fear, and free up the energy to live life fully in the present moment?

Ch. 33 – The Truth about the Hereafter

The great Tao sages saw Heaven and Hell as states of mind rather than places. Isn’t the idea of Heaven and Hell fall apart in subjective reality? For example, a masochist would see Heaven as a place to enjoy delicious pain, while Hell would be a place free of pain.

If God truly loves all children, why would he subject even the most sinful ones to eternal suffering? Compared to our human-created system of killing criminals, doesn’t a literal Hell featuring the most horrible punishment imaginable seem savage and primitive by comparison? If God is infinitely greater than human beings in every way, wouldn’t His mercy and compassion surpass ours as well? If even puny human beings, imperfect and born full of sin, can rise above treating the wicked in a cruel way, then why shouldn’t God, the paragon of perfection?

When we look at it in this light, we quickly come to the conclusion that if God is truly the embodiment of love and compassion, then He would never allow the existence of Hell as a place where sinners burn forever. It seems more likely then that Hell is a concept invented by human beings for the specific purpose of invoking fear in other human beings.

Ch. 34 – Transcending the Limitations of Book Knowledge

This story is about an important transition to Tao cultivation: from studying the Tao as an academic subject to living its teachings as a way of life. Sooner or later we realize that Tao readings cannot compare to actual cultivation. While we can certainly benefit from reading, there is a gap between academic knowledge and the living, breathing wisdom of the Tao. There are people who read volumes and volumes of books and yet experience no significant change in their lives. Oftentimes this is because they are trapped by the words they read.

What we really need is the natural self-discipline of the Tao. When we flow with this discipline and move steadily forward, we have the ability to, in time, take our spiritual practice to any level we wish, with no limits. This is the true meaning of freedom.

Having broken free, we are able to return home—to the Tao. As we look back on our escape, we can smile in knowing that, now, we are ready . . . to truly begin cultivation and live the teachings of the Tao as a way of life!

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